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I’m spiritual but not religious. I don’t need a church.  I can find God on my own by being in nature or meditating. Being in nature or meditating or any of the other, myriad individual spiritual pursuits can feed our faith. And can be a necessary part of enabling us to be in relationship with God. But being in community is where that faith gets lived out. Where the rubber meets the road.

I’ve struggled for years with the last sentence of this morning’s Gospel: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them” (Mt. 18:20). But what about when I’m by myself – is Jesus not present? The sentence seems to suggest that. And if that’s true, then what’s all the fuss about a personal relationship with Jesus. In questioning this, a wise priest said that one interpretation does not necessarily exclude the other. Jesus is present when I’m by myself. Jesus is present but in a different way when two or three are gathered. Jesus being present to me – and my having an individual relationship  with Jesus enables me to be part of the two or three that begin to constitute a community of the faithful.

In the Episcopal Church, a priest cannot celebrate the Eucharist by him- or herself. There must be at least one other person present. This is because we are a community – not just individuals. The church is not me- the church is us. And that’s part of what makes being the church – being the body of Christ – often difficult. Being in community can be hard. We don’t always – and perhaps not even most of the time – agree. St. Augustine is attributed with the principle: “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” These days I’m not sure this principle has much sway over our common life.  We can’t even agree on what is an essential.

The National Sports Officials’ website notes: “Every day in America and around the world, sports officials are physically and verbally harassed. Most incidents  do not require police or medical assistance, but in some cases, the harassment turns violent. The fact that such behavior occurs at sporting events involving youth participants is appalling in itself, but the frequency in which these reports now occur is even more disturbing.”[1] All you have to do is think about the  news in the last two weeks to remember several instances of fighting at sports events. In fact, “There were numerous fights at the recent game at Candlestick Park when the 49ers hosted the Raiders. Additionally, two men were shot, while another was beaten unconscious in a restroom. It comes just months after police say two men beat San Francisco Giants fan Bryan Stow on opening day outside Dodger Stadium.”[2] What has happened in our society that we seem to have gone so far astray from being able to live with consideration when we disagree with others? To be able to disagree without resorting to violence. And can  we change the direction in which we appear to be headed – more incidents of violence and more extreme violence? Jesus and Paul both give us guidelines that  give us pause and ought to be the way we order our individual and our common life. From Paul we hear that we are to owe no one anything but love. Paul does not mean that we can’t take out a mortgage to buy a house or a car or another big ticket item that we can responsibly manage on our income. Rather, Paul means that our primary duty to one another is to respect each other as being created by God. If we respect one another, we treat each other, even when we disagree, as a child of God who is loved by God and thus to be loved by us. Paul is not talking about love as an emotion but rather love as an attitude. When  you love someone as an attitude, you care for them –for their well-being even when you disagree with their position. Jesus tells us when we believe a member  of the church – a member of our community- has sinned that we have the obligation to approach that person,  to alert them to our belief that he or she has sinned and to invite him or her to repent and be reconciled to the church – the community. And if your going to the other doesn’t work to try again, this time with another member of the church. And if that doesn’t work, to try again. This is not sanctimonious, “I’m better than you are; I’m judging you”, but an action done with and in love, to restore a broken relationship. And then Jesus says something interesting: “and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let  such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Mt. 18:17). This is not about excommunicating or shunning such a person, although the verse has  certainly been read that way. This is about keeping on reaching out to that person. How many times did the religious establishment chastise Jesus for eating with sinners? With Gentiles? With tax collectors? Throughout his whole ministry, Jesus continued to reach out to those considered beyond the pale- those  who sinned as understood by the customs of the day. So even though this verse seems to give us permission to throw someone out of our community of faith, I  believe it really challenges us to keep on reaching out to that person. To continue to love that person even though we disagree with their actions. After all,  actions speak louder than words – so if our actions are to keep reaching out to the person, perhaps in time that person will repent of the sin and seek to be  reconciled to the community. And if that happens, we ought to rejoice as the shepherd did when the one lost sheep was returned to join the 99 that had stayed  safely inside the fold. No “Parking lot” conversations for Jesus. No speaking behind someone’s back. No murmuring. No gossip. Face the one with whom you  have a disagreement – one on one. Don’t go to someone else to complain about the other. Don’t triangulate. It takes courage to speak directly to the one who  as sinned, the one who has hurt you – whether deliberately or not. But part of our responsibility is to speak in love, always respecting the other as being created by God and worthy of love and dignity. When we conduct our lives with an attitude of love, we begin to create the beloved community. The community which witnesses to Jesus the Christ, the only Son of God, the Lord, the Messiah. With love all things are possible. Being human, if we take the instruction from  Jesus seriously – to speak directly to the person in our community that we believe has sinned, we also have to accept that there may come a time when  someone comes to speak to us. What will my attitude be when someone approaches me with a belief that I have acted in a way that shows disrespect for the  community to which I belong? Will I react in anger- maybe even in violence? Or will I remember these lessons from Paul and from Jesus. Owe no one anything  but love. Treat all persons with respect and dignity even when we disagree most vehemently. Seek repentance and a return to community.

Violence breeds violence. Violence expressed escalates and escalates. And sooner or later someone is hurt and maybe even is killed. When this happens, Jesus  weeps – and so should we. In the Book of Common Prayer we have a Rite of Reconciliation aka “confession”.  Our belief is “none must, some should, all may.” There may be times in our lives when this is especially helpful to our souls. To intentionally acknowledge those areas where we fall short. To repent and to seek  reconciliation. I particularly like the opening acknowledgment: “I confess to Almighty God, to his Church, and to you, that I have sinned by my own fault  in thought, word, and deed, in things done and left undone. For these and all other sins which I cannot now remember, I am truly sorry. I pray God to have  mercy on me. I firmly intend amendment of life, and I humbly beg forgiveness of God and his Church, and ask you for counsel, direction, and  absolution” (BCP 447). And God always gives us counsel, direction and absolution.  No matter the sin, God is always willing to listen when we confess our  failings. God is always willing to have us rejoin the community of faith. Take these words to heart. Remember them especially when someone in our beloved  community does something that hurts us. Owe no one anything but love. Amen.